After having spent a lot of time with married friends and couples (giving everybody a fair chance), I have come to the conclusion that single people are happier by staying away from them. I would go to the extreme view of even avoiding them. Why, you ask?

Usually, being the only single or one among the very few in a social group comprising of couples, you are either made the umpire who resolves (or is expected to resolve) the couple's chillar fights, or a clown entertaining them, both of which are not fun for the single in focus.

There is this third state where you could be a "friend" just like you were before, provided the couple's frequency and maturity is in tune with yours, but that again is short-lived and quite rare.

Let us say all three of you go to a restaurant. After the food arrives, the couple insist on getting some kind of validation of their love by feeding each other a few bites. How are you supposed to react to that? By clapping and whistling acknowledging their true love, or get teary-eyed after having witnessed the marvel of love which is so rare these days? As if this torture is not enough, when the check comes, you see the bill getting halved instead of you paying for your 1/3rd! I am not comfortable sharing her 1/6th, unless I can socially/publicly call her my insignificant 1/6th.

If you accompany them to a touristy place, your role boils down to that of a photographer. When you successfully bait them with your sulky face, their explanation- "we would love to take your pics here when you come with your significant other". So, your snaps are put on
hold till you get hooked and you won't get hooked till some good snaps are taken (and distributed). Catch-22?

Till now, you only had to say sorry for one belated birthday, but now your calendar gets creepily flooded with anniversary dates.

And then the formidable "when to India" question which is fine, but the "do you feel homesick" question makes me sick. What am I supposed to answer- "with people like you, I don't.. thanks for being my extended family"?

Hence the conclusion: maintain one-arm distance from them.

After having spent a lot of time with married friends and couples (giving everybody a fair chance), I have come to the conclusion that single people are happier by staying away from them. I would go to the extreme view of even avoiding them. Why, you ask?

Just like priming of a pump initially brings muddy water before pumping out cleaner water, my 6+ months of ¶"hoton pe aiseee baath mein dabakey chala aaya"¶ will continue to churn some eeeks-not-so-pretty work here. ---- From an observationalist's (†) point of view, today's social outing made me wonder if people's eating manners tend to fall into one or a combination of the following, leaving large deviations aside-

• Tortoise chaap- The ones that belong to this category are the poster child of slowness/laziness. They make shapes and maps in their plates and end up mixing every combination in their plates.  They have only 1 meal a day, because their breakfast ends in the dinner time.
• Atomizer- They believe in breaking the food particles into the tiniest bits possible, so that the addition of the food nuclei wont add to their weight substantially, and also to ensure that their digestive system has the least work to do.
• Starvation Army- The last time they saw food was when they ate Farex baby food at the age of 4. More food is thrown around than eaten. No one knows what the hurry is for.
• Eat thy neighbor- Some people cant keep their hands restricted to their own plate, but instead scan others' food and insist on tasting (which often turns into sharing).
• Calorie Counter- His patent for 'weighing machine in flipflops' is still pending.
• Disturb-me-not: This man is on a mission, he is in his own world savoring every bite, and wont be disturbed even if there is a volcano eruption next door.
• Reverse-engineers: Usually this is moms' department where their sole aim is to recreate the exact dish by tasting and guessing the ingredients/procedure.

(†) Not sure if it means what I intend it to mean

Hello World

Extending the bulb jokes to other areas, here are some that crossed my mind- Q- how many republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A- one maverick Q- how many democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb? A- none, you 'hope' for 'change' and it just happens Q- how many unmarried desis does it take to screw in a light bulb? A- none, as they are unaware of what screwing is. Q- how many bloggers does it take to screw in a ligt bulb? A- 200, 1 to do the act, 99 to document it and 100 to comment Q- how many tamilians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A- none, as their loud talking already shattered the bulb to pieces Q- how many gujjus does it take to screw in a light bulb? A- none, as it was already sold even before this question was asked Q- how many gults does it take to screw in a light bulb? A- depends, is there any dowry involved?

Too much coffee, some spare time, lots of fun and an entrepreneurial group as friends can bring some amazing ideas, for instance: Rent-a-roomie Staying alone has its pros and cons- the freedom vs. getting 'the space'. Whenever the occasional loneliness bug stings, there isnt a temp-fix. Tada! Here comes rent-a-roomie. Just because you might have to move someday, do you purchase a truck? No, you rent a U-Haul truck for that occasion. You are roomie-sick? No problem, you get to spend valuable time with 1) a roomie who is similarly staying alone nearby, or 2) a group of roomies for a day/weekend. The intended product is a social-networking like site, where on the basis of your likes/dislikes, and the availability dates, the temp-roomie(s) is matched. Sounds good, so what is in store? Here is the virtual tour- Actual roommate like experience- You bring some groceries during the visit, as soon as you enter, you would be harassed for late rent check. After a few minutes, one of them might ask you for a loan (you too can ask them) or request you to clean the dishes while he does the cooking. All this is solely to build the right atmosphere. After the cooking, you would watch a game or movie with them in their house, and evening you would bid farewell with man-hugs. Google confirms that this idea does't exist yet. Why? you decide that. What I have decided is to ask if anybody interested in investing? :D

(Quarks are elemantary particles, and so are my quirks) Apologies for this self-dabba-esque post, but rads called me a "boy", and I could happily jump into Hudson just for that favor. Here goes the hitlist- (*) Questioning- I tend to reason things out, by questioning and with child-like curiousity. A week back, my friend tried to explain that "not everything can be reasoned out, you should learn to take some things for granted" to which I asked "why?" (this was for dramatic purpose, see quirk#2 below) (*) Why so serious?- I dont claim a great sense of humor, but I have no qualms cracking PJs, which not everybody might get (some are for the hardcore geeks while some need a PhD in pop-trivia or movies-o-logy). I have a hard time being serious for long. (*) Abhimanyu- I am like Abhimanyu, in terms of conversation: I know how to wonderfully start a conversation with the other person, whoever that is, can sustain it for some time, but can not for the love of God figure out how to end that. (*) 3 seconds- I have selective partial amnesia, like Alberto Gonzales. I was under the impression that oldfish has 3 seconds of memory, like me (Gajini?), but that myth was busted.. even Goldfish beat me to it. (*) Where was I? ok, 4th quirk- Imsomnia: Sleeping is one of the last things that interest me, not that I am working on the next world-changing patent-pending idea by being awake. Weird.. (*) Ego- I feel like a superman in this area, who would bring it out (in a phonebooth?) when required by the situation. Actually, this isnt bad, scratch this, or maybe not, hmmn, how else will one come up with 6 quirks?! I sincerely believe that tagging is like a communicable disease, it shouldnt spread :)